Is it Time to Ditch the Dummy?
Facing a dummy Dilemma? Loosing sleep? Clocking up the miles on late night/mid-night dummy runs? Feeling like it may be time to reassess? With both my children, sleep regressions (4 and 8 months) signalled the end of their dummy time but ditching the dummy is a very personal decision and one that you absolutely should only make when YOU are ready. Many people will tell you that a dummy is bad for all sorts of reasons, however, in my mind and that of many other professionals, they definitely have their place especially with newborns up to around 4-6 months. Benefits include:
· They support baby’s natural reflex to suck and so can be deeply soothing for little ones
· Sucking is one of the 5 S’s
· Research has shown that it could reduce the risk of SIDS
· Your baby can use the dummy to self sooth and fall asleep
However, past this point, if your baby NEEDS the dummy to get back to sleep and you find yourself doing (what feels like) 150 dummy runs a night to replace it – then the dummy may have become a sleep crutch. It is at this point that the once revered dummy can become more of a sleep hinderance rather than a help. This doesn’t necessarily signal the end of dummy life as you know it, indeed, many parents choose to persevere instead. If this is you, here are some tips for using a dummy in the best way possible:
If you’re happy to persevere with the dummy, then how can you use it well?
· If your baby has a dummy to fall asleep, once asleep and it drops out – do not replace it for them.
· Teach and encourage your baby to be in control of their dummy – (this will be dependent on age). Once they have mastered the pincher grasp, (around 8-10months) they should be able to replace their own dummy.
· You can put numerous dummies in their cot, to make it easier for baby to find one. You could even try a glow in the dark number such as this one!
If instead, you’d like to ditch the dummy then read on my friend...
When is a good age?
It is generally recommended that parents try to wean their baby’s dummy between 6 and 12 months. After 9 months, children may develop an emotional attachment to their dummy so, the sweet spot is between 6-8 months. That does not mean you should rush to remove the dummy—just be prepared for a few more vociferous and lengthy protests the longer you leave it.
How do I ditch the dummy?
Restrict Use: The first step is to start limiting how often you are offering it to your child. So many clients we have worked with simply stopped offering it and their child didn’t look for it-it was almost like a parental sleep crutch more than anything! Try to limit dummy use to when they need soothing if they are upset for example. If you have a toddler, try distracting them at times they would normally have it, using books, games or toys.
Cold Turkey: Like taking a plaster off, this method is by far the quickest but you may get some kick back especially if your child is older. You simply stop giving the dummy to your child and, after 1 or 2 rough nights, you will have achieved your goal! If you do this, make sure they have some other forms of comfort ready to go to replace the comfort the dummy provided.
Provide alternative comfort: If your child is younger, then you will likely need to give them alternative comfort (begin layering), such as patting, stroking or a lullaby. An age appropriate, comforter/cuddly/ for them to have at sleep time can also work really well. For very small babies, cut off a small piece of muslin with your smell on it for them to hold
If you have a real dummy addict, you can buy genius comforters that are attached to the dummy, which means, when you finally remove it, they still have a familiar comfort object to cuddle.
Agree a time and date: Once your child is coping for longer periods without the dummy, agree and stick to a time and date to do the deed. This way, you are more likely to go through with it.
Get Creative: If your child is a little bit older and can understand and engage with a story (normally 2+) you can spin a yarn, ahem, I mean tell a lovely story about how the dummy is going and the reasons why. Classic ones include:
· Fairies are giving the dummies to all of the new babies in the area.
· Santa or Easter Bunny (use relevant celebration) will swap the dummy for presents/eggs
· Using something your child is really interested in e.g. Peppa Pig and saying that she will come and swap the box of dummies for a fun present for being so brave in the morning. This approach does require some theatrics for maximum impact but can be really fun and rewarding for your little one!
If you are struggling with inspiration or would like some literary support on the subject, there are loads of fab books on the market to guide your little one (and you) through the process. Here are some of our favourites:
Stick to it: One thing you will hear me repeat endlessly is the importance of being consistent and this is SO important if you decide to ditch the dummy. Once you have committed, there is no going back. Put them in the bin- trust me!
It may take a couple of days or a week or so for your child to adjust (it depends on the age and temperament) but, RestAssured they will get there, often quicker than you expect! We have helped lots of parents work through sleep associations- read just a small selection of our what our lovely parents have said about us here.
Love, as always, C&E xxx
Picture credit: Me- my first born loving his dummy at 3 weeks old.